Entries by gmader

Choosing when you think you don’t have a choice…

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My wife and I recently learned from a dear friend that he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. We were shocked and saddened at first by his revelation. But, he expressed such a positive, optimistic and confident, attitude and message about how he will ‘rise above the disease and use his new predicament to become a better person and make a difference around him’ that I was blown away and inspired by his extraordinary spirit and courage. This got me thinking – in life we often need to choose between things – between this job and that job, between this partner and that partner, between this field or that field. And, at times, depending on the situation […]

Are you counting your blessings or focusing on what’s missing?

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In the previous blog I talked about how the rat race to achieve more and meet our life objectives often prevents us from being present and living our life in the moment.   This is a very common modern life dilemma that many ambitious and successful people face: how to set exciting goals in all areas of our life, work hard to realize them (because that is what it takes), and while doing that fully enjoy the journey, not just the destination. How do we slow down enough while we are going so fast?   How to grow as many roses as we want AND also stop and smell them on a regular basis? This has […]

Are you living your life in the moment?

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In my professional experiences as a coach, as well as my own life journey I’ve seen a particular mindset that often dominates our day-to-day lives. As members of a modern, ambitious and demanding society we have the inclination to go through life with the sense that we are “not quite there yet.” We set goals for ourselves and then along the journey we often forget that WE are the ones who set these goals. We fall into the trap of feeling that only when we realize these goals and other achievements “we will really make it, and then be able to truly relax and enjoy life to its fullest”. Consider this quote from Fr. Alfred […]

How Great are YOU willing to be?

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Maybe that seems like an odd question to ask. Who wouldn’t want to be Great? Perhaps it’s not as straightforward as it seems. It is my life’s goal to ignite, energize and empower people. In fact, it’s my job, and most of it is in the workplace. My work is about empowering people; reminding them of who they are and how great and able they can be. When people are empowered in the workplace, it spills over into other areas of their life – work, marriage, parenthood, family, and social circles. But I have noticed that often people are not that eager to become empowered.  Despite what they say they don’t seem to be interested […]

Living Courageously Through Journaling

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My last series of blog posts focused on living courageously: doing something everyday that scares us, eliminating cynical and jealous thoughts, making time for self-improvement. Courageous living means identifying your dreams and goals and taking an honest look at the situations and circumstances between you and your dreams. A great place to start your journey to a more courageous life is in a daily journal. The Benefits of Journaling Scores of studies have been done on the benefits of daily journaling. By turning into ourselves and disclosing our feelings and thoughts in a safe environment, we are giving ourselves permission to process, reflect on, and take responsibility for our actions and reactions. Daily journaling has […]

What Scares You?

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Living courageously doesn’t mean that you’re never scared. It means that you learn to embrace your fear and move past it — to allow it to strengthen you rather than weaken or paralyze you. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” I love this quote, because it helps me remember the importance of stretching myself, of pushing myself out of my comfort zone and taking a stand for the things I want in life but am afraid to pursue. Stay True to Who You Are The key is to align your choices, behaviors and actions with who you are or who you want to be and what is most important […]

What’s Killing Your Courage?

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Courageous living is powerful, rewarding and, in my humble opinion, the only way to really live life. But while the concept is simple, applying it is not always easy. Living courageously means learning to ignore the naysayers — including the one in the mirror. The Enemies of Courage The biggest enemies of living courageously are negative emotions and attitudes, such as cynicism, resignation and jealousy. People often become convinced — by things others have said or by their own unenlightened thoughts — that they can’t have what they want, that they are not capable or worthy of achieving their dreams. I have seen many people stop believing in their goals and dreaming about their desires […]

Are You Living a Courageous Life?

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While most of us would agree that courage and bravery are positive qualities, many people would not use these words to describe themselves. Most people are still too afraid to live the life they truly want — afraid of taking risks, of failing, of being disappointed or of what others might think. However, everyone has the ability to live courageously. As the Wizard of Oz tells the Cowardly Lion in L. Frank Baum’s classic children’s story, “You know, of course, that courage is always inside one.” So what is courageous living? How do you know if you are living courageously? Courage Starts Inside Courageous living is our innate ability to take a stand for the […]

Generating Breakthroughs in Challenging Relationships (Part 4): Rules of Future Engagement

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How do you take a challenging relationship — personal or professional — and transform it into one built on trust, respect and intimacy? Over the last three weeks, we have examined the first three steps for generating this kind of breakthrough: Both parties must authentically desire a transformation and commit to having the conversations necessary to take the relationship to a new or better place. Have an honest, open, rational conversation about the history in order to drive closure, complete the past and bring the relationship back to the space of nothing (zero). Generate rich, exciting possibilities for the future of your relationship. This week, we’ll cover the fourth and final step: Turn the new […]

Generating Breakthroughs in Challenging Relationships (Part 3): Starting From Scratch

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How do you take a challenging relationship — personal or professional — and transform it into one built on trust, respect and intimacy? Over the past two weeks, we have examined the first two steps for generating this kind of breakthrough. The first step is that both parties must genuinely want to take the relationship to a new, better place and commit to having the necessary conversations. The second step is to have an honest, open, rational conversation about the past so that you can complete the past and “zero it out” so you can start over. This week, we’ll discuss the third step of the conversation: generating a rich, exciting possibility for the future […]

Generating Breakthroughs in Challenging Relationships (Part 2): Zeroing Out the Past

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How do you take a challenging relationship — personal or professional — and transform it into one built on trust, respect and intimacy? Last week, I outlined four steps for generating this kind of breakthrough. The first step is that both parties must genuinely want to take the relationship to a new, better place and commit to having the necessary conversations. This week, we’ll examine the second step: Complete the history of the relationship by fully getting each other’s reality and experiences. This requires an honest, open, rational conversation about the past. Setting the Stage for Change Start by setting the time and place for the conversation. Obviously, if possible, do it in person. However, […]

Having Effective Conversations to Build or Restore Trust in Any Relationship

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There are some people with whom we easily build trusting, productive relationships — people with whom we connect and take our relationships to the next level without much trouble or controversy. But there are other relationships — personal and professional — that require more work, either because past dealings or misunderstandings have created mistrust or animosity, or because different personalities make it harder sometimes to find common ground. Sometimes there is a problem in the relationship that we need to address or react to. But at other times, even if the relationship is functioning sufficiently, we want to take it to a higher, better level. Communication: The Key to Transforming Relationships Trust, relationships, partnerships: These […]