Develop Your Warrior Muscle (Part 2)

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In last week’s blog, I wrote about how Warriors either “love” (or own) what they do or they “leave” it. This doesn’t mean they give up easily. In fact, Warriors stay true to their vision. They may change their course of action, but they seldom quit.

Warriors are very resourceful. While Worriers often see others as obstacles, pains in the you-know-what, or necessary evils they must deal with, Warriors typically view others as potential resources, allies, or partners. Warriors are not shy about admitting when they don’t know something or when they need help. They acknowledge others’ superior skills, experiences, and track records, and they ask these people for coaching and guidance. This is because Warriors are more concerned with fulfilling their visions than pretending to have it all together and looking good.

One thing that repeatedly surprises me in my work with organizations is how much time and energy many people spend on covering their behinds. Time and time again I see people spending more time and energy making sure everyone knows issues are not their fault than they do figuring out how to fix these issues. That’s why, in most organizations, people CC everyone on their e-mails.

Warriors and Worriers also deal with success differently. Worriers don’t let successes in. They don’t embrace and own their accomplishments and greatness. Why? Because if they did, they might have to admit they are capable of being Warriors, which would require them to start living with greater courage, passion, and sense of possibility. And that’s a scary prospect for many people.

Worriers rarely acknowledge or recognize other people’s accomplishments, success, and greatness. They often view life as a competition in which the more they elevate others by highlighting their greatness, the smaller they become in comparison. So, they refrain from generously and courageously recognizing others.

Warriors, on the other hand, acknowledge and celebrate their own success, as well as that of others, whenever they can. Understanding that success invites success, they always look for opportunities to highlight progress and accomplishments. Yet, they strive to remain humble and centered in their vision, rather than arrogant about their achievements. And they don’t expect to be perfect. In fact, their mantra is to constantly drive progress, not perfection.

Warriors also tend to be more generous when acknowledging and recognizing other people’s accomplishments. They view the world as abundant with opportunities and the people around them as allies, so they don’t feel threatened by the success of others. In fact, they believe that being in the presence of great people only enhances their own greatness.

As I stated in one of my earlier blogs, being a Warrior is like any other skill. To develop a Warrior mindset, you must commit to this way of being and regularly exercise those muscles.

People often think that they believe what they see. However, the truth is that we see what we believe. Our attitudes and expectations often become self-fulfilling prophecies, and we are usually able to gather evidence to support our points of view. So, if we are going to prove something right, why not prove right stuff that empowers us?

Develop Your Warrior Muscle (Part 1)

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Every day we are faced with numerous circumstances and situations over which we have no control. However, we can always control who we’re going to be in those moments and how we’ll react to each situation.

The choice is yours: You can deal with problems like a Worrier (i.e., by being a victim, blaming others, and making excuses for yourself). Or you can deal with problems like a Warrior, meaning you accept and own the reality and approach problems head on.

Worriers tend to complain. Warriors avoid complaining, because they understand that even when their complaints are valid, focusing on them is a waste of time. Doing so only weakens them and makes them smaller than their problems.

Worriers often feel their problems are larger than them, and they let challenging or overwhelming circumstances conquer them. Warriors know they have a choice about their attitude and the way they’re going to respond to the tough situations with which they’re faced. And they never stop moving forward.

Worriers say things like “it’s not fair” and “why me?” On the other hand, Warriors ask: “What do I do now? What can I control here? What difference can I make? And how can I make the best of this?” They always take the stand that they are larger than their circumstances.

Warriors live by a “no victim, no suffering” code. They typically gravitate towards doing work they enjoy, or they bring love to their work. In other words, they “do what they love or love what they do.” They bring a positive, productive energy to whatever they tackle, and even if they don’t love every aspect of their work, they do everything in their power to at least own it. This means genuinely accepting and making the best of things. And if they can’t own it, they leave it.

Warriors know they make a difference. They have faith in themselves and their intentions. If they don’t feel they can make a positive difference in their current environment, they always stay true to their values, act with courage, and make the tough decisions. They leave and go to a different team, role, or environment where they can express themselves and make a difference. They don’t allow themselves to recede into a victim mentality or to become resentful, which is what typically happens when people sell out on living up to their values, principles, and vision.

Worriers can spend their entire careers being cynical and resigned. They often view the world as “unkind,” their luck as “unfortunate,” and their options and possibilities as “scarce.” A client once described his job to me as his “eight-hour inconvenience.” Yet, he had been working in that same company for many years. You can imagine which camp he belongs to.

The global workforce is filled with people who spend their entire careers and lives in the Worrier space. In fact, the Worrier space is still the norm in most companies. The problem is that it takes a tremendous level of numbness and unconsciousness to sustain this existence.

Warriors are not perfect by any means. They have the same fears, anxieties, hang-ups, concerns, and doubts that Worriers have. What makes them Warriors is that they act with courage. They understand and accept that courage is not the absence of fear, but rather being afraid and living up to your vision and commitment anyway.

Worriers are often very circumstantial. They typically have a good reason for why they can’t have what they want, or a good story about why it’s not the right time. They keep waiting for the fear to subside or the obstacles to evaporate, or they play it small and safe enough to not provoke fear in the first place.

Building your Warrior muscle is ultimately about developing courage: The courage to be vulnerable and authentic, to be open and honest, and to try new things. Everyone – men and women, young people and those nearing retirement – can be Warrior, but only if they are willing to take ownership of their careers and lives.

More to come on this in my next blog. Stay tuned.

Building a Team of Warriors Starts with YOU

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If you find yourself leading a group of people who are locked into that negative, cynical, victim mentality, how do you shift it? How can you not only avoid becoming mired in the negativity, but actually change it? In other words, how do you help your team transition from Worriers to Warriors?

The attitude and mindset of any organization or team, no matter how large or small, is always a reflection of its leader’s mindset and attitude. If the leader is a Worrier, the team will follow suit. If the leader is a Warrior, he/she will naturally create the same environment for his/her team.

In order to transform a negative environment, you must lead by example. In other words, start with yourself.

Transformation always begins with honesty. Honesty allows for awareness. And awareness allows for ownership. Ownership means understanding, accepting, and taking responsibility for what’s not working. In the absence of ownership, leaders tend to resist and to be defensive and in denial about their issues. When people own and accept their issues, they are able to engage others in conversations about change in a much more authentic, direct, and courageous way.

So, as a leader, start with your own authentic reflection. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • What is my attitude most of the time?
  • How do I react to issues, challenges, and bad news?
  • What conversations do I engage in when things don’t work or go wrong?
  • Overall, do I behave like a Warrior or a Worrier?

Leaders often have blind spots about their own attitudes and behavior, especially when it is of the Worrier variety. You may want to reach out to a few trusted colleagues, peers, superiors, and/or subordinates and ask them to give you candid feedback. Just remember: People will only tell you what they feel you are willing to hear. Even if you say all the right things, if people sense you are not open to receiving honest feedback, they will adjust their input accordingly. Make sure you are sincere about your quest to gain awareness and ownership of your issues before approaching others.

Many leaders tell their people that “feedback is a gift” but then react badly when they are on the receiving end. So people just roll their eyes, keep to themselves, and avoid authentic conversations.

It’s much easier, safer, and more comfortable to behave like a Worrier. You always have someone or something else to blame. You can also avoid taking responsibility and therefore certain risks in addressing the issues. Being a Worrier doesn’t require courage, but you pay a price for that comfort – usually in terms of lost collaboration, trust, effectiveness, quality of work, morale and company pride, and even financial success.

Most leaders sincerely want to create a Warrior environment for their teams, but many seem to be stuck in their old habits and reactions. When leaders start confronting and internalizing the “costs” associated with a Worrier environment, they are usually more willing to change.

Being a Warrior requires courage and even the willingness to change. But for those who want to feel alive and make a difference, it is an exciting existence.

Being a Warrior is like any other skill. To develop a Warrior mindset, you must commit to this way of being and regularly exercise those muscles. There are certain attitudes and practices that enable you to live and operate in the Warrior space.

In my next couple of blogs I’ll talk more about what these are. Stay tuned and see you next week.

Do You Have a Team of Warriors … or Worriers?

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Even the most technologically-advanced visionaries are reminded that people are still irreplaceable.

I work with teams that are located in one city, where everyone works on the same floor of the same building, and yet they don’t trust each other or collaborate well together. I also work with globally-dispersed teams who rarely see each other in person, and yet they function with high levels of trust, purpose, collaboration, and intimacy.

So, what determines the effectiveness of team dynamic?

At the simplest level, it boils down to people’s attitudes, mindsets, and dedication to the game, as well as their relationships to themselves and their colleagues.

We all have our own unique style and brand – a distinct personality, mindset, and attitude. We often say similar things using different words. We approach problems differently and think about things from different perspectives. Put simply, we go about business doing things in a way that is fluent with our own style.

There are countless flavors of styles, but they can be divided into two categories:

  • Worriers: Those whose attitudes and mindsets are negative, cynical, disempowering, discouraging, undermining, and weakening.
  • Warriors: Those whose attitudes and mindsets are positive, empowering, energizing, motivating, exciting, and inspiring.

The more team members you have in one category or the other, the more the dynamic of your team will swing in that direction. So, if you’ve got a team of Worriers, it’s going to be a very cynical and un-energizing environment. Victim mentality breeds in this environment. People often play the blame game, make justifications and excuses, throw others under the bus when things go wrong, and argue about who is right and who is wrong rather than focusing on what’s best for the project or company. It may sound as if I am exaggerating or describing a uniquely-dysfunctional environment. However, most teams – even really effective ones – seem to have these dynamics in their DNA.

On the other hand, if your team is made up of Warriors, they’ll make sure everybody genuinely owns the game, shares thoughts and ideas, and engages in the open, honest, authentic, courageous, and effective conversations that make a difference. In this environment, people tend to talk (not bicker) about the tough stuff – the things that don’t work. Team members are less concerned with who gets credit or blame, and the focus on how to fix and improve things is based on a shared vision and the company’s mission.

While Worriers complain, suffer, and engage in “would have, could have, should have” conversations, Warriors don’t dwell on problems. Instead, they say, “What do we do now?” In the face of challenges or stress, they get innovative and resourceful – and they get things done. This dynamic is much more nourishing and empowering than one made up of Worriers.

So, what do you do if you’ve got a team of Worriers? How do you shift their negative mindset and help them become more Warrior-like? Stay tuned for next week’s blog, when I’ll answer these questions and more.

The Untapped Goldmine Of Gratitude

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The research is in, and when it comes to employee engagement, recognition is a key factor. During strong economies or when companies are experiencing great success, most leaders feel that they have the wherewithal, resources and ability to invest in recognizing and rewarding the work their people do. This includes pay increases, bonuses and other merit-based incentives. It also includes indirect compensation – such as training programs, events, offsite meetings, and career development.

When times are tough, however, companies tend to cut back in all these areas, and employees become frustrated because they (and their work) are not being recognized.

However, in both tough and successful times, there is a goldmine of appreciation that most companies leave untapped. It’s the practice of deliberately and explicitly recognizing, appreciating and thanking the people around you. This doesn’t cost a penny, and it creates a very nurturing, productive and exciting environment for our teams.

Gratitude is a particularly powerful tool when used by managers, as well as between peers. But it’s of no use when you keep your appreciation to yourself. Instead, we must acknowledge our appreciation and have a conversation that highlights the other person’s greatness, values and achievements.

Acknowledgement requires courage and generosity on the part of the person providing it. Unfortunately, most work environments are rife with politics, silos and people trying to survive – which typically creates a challenging “us-or-them” environment. People fear that highlighting other people’s greatness will somehow take away from their own achievements. I have seen this play out again and again – especially in high-achieving, competitive environments.

However, if leaders create an organizational culture where the paradigm is “We’re in this together; we have each other’s backs and stand as one,” then the logic changes. People understand that the more giants they have around them, the bigger they are, and the more powerful their teams can be.

You can always find reasons to appreciate and acknowledge the people around you. Don’t assume they already know how you feel. There’s no reason to be stingy or lazy with your praise. You can acknowledge people for:

  • Their spirit, heart, attitude or energy.
  • Their actions or efforts towards going beyond the call of duty.
  • What they have done or created (i.e., their accomplishments and achievements).

To make gratitude viral in your organization, start practicing it yourself on a daily basis. Simply make it a point to acknowledge one or two people around you every day. You could also open team meetings by saying: “Hey, we’ve all been working so hard the last 30 days. Who would like to acknowledge someone on the team for his or her contribution?” Then spend 10 minutes or so letting your team praise each other. With enough repetition, gratitude will become a part of your culture.