Are you giving yourself bad advice about important things?

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How much time do you spend – or shall I say ‘waste’ – in your head? I mean listening to your own private thoughts, concerns, and conversations?

We do it mostly when we are troubled, upset or in distress. That’s the time that we need sound advice, guidance, and support. But, that is the time we often go to the wrong and worst place to get it – our own head.

I was coaching an executive who wanted to advance his career and get the promotion he felt he deserved. The executive was generally a passionate and expressive person and leader. But, every time he had opportunities to promote himself, his skills and his accomplishments in front of his peers, boss and other superiors he froze or held back. It was as if he became a different person. When we tried to get to the source of this dynamic I learned that whilst outwardly the executive appeared confident and bold, internally he often doubted and second-guessed himself. When he wasn’t paying attention to his internal noise he behaved as his authentic self. But when he did it was quite a different matter.

Another senior executive I was coaching often lost his temper when he disagreed with peers, especially when they criticized his function. He was a very smart and powerful leader. He knew that his outbursts derailed management team conversations, and hurt his reputation. However, it was hard for him to change his ways because his personal thoughts were telling him that his peers were, in fact, trying to undermine and marginalize his function. His thoughts and feelings were so real and strong that it took a lot of persuasion effort to make him see that maybe they were not true.

Another example, I was supporting a leader who had lost his job four months earlier in a downsizing initiative, after working in that same company for more than 20 years. He hadn’t been able to find a new job, he felt as if that the sky had fallen. He was distraught and it was hard for him to see possibilities beyond his feelings. He said things like: “I will never find another job or company like the one I was fired from,” and “no one will hire me at my age.” He shared with me that at a certain point it was hard for him to get out of bed because he didn’t feel he had something worthwhile to get up for.

I could relate to all three examples from my own life experiences. I have been there in distressed situations when things did not pan out the way I had hoped. At the time, these situations were disappointing, upsetting and even depressing. But, what often made it worst is listening to my personal thoughts and conversations saying things like: “I should have had a more realistic goal”, “How can I show my face in public? ” and “I’ll probably never be able to achieve this dream”.

It is often said that we are our worst critics. And that is true. Our personal thoughts and concerns are often undermining, guilt-driven and very convincing. They seem so real, true and objective, that it is often hard to think beyond them.

However, think about this rationally, if you wanted advice in an important area of your life would you go to someone who doesn’t have your best interest in mind, or would you go to someone you trust, who understands what you want, knows what it takes and is committed to helping you get there? It’s a no-brainer.

Your own private thoughts, concerns, and conversations are often the worst place to get sound and effective advice that will make a difference in helping you reach a new level – especially when you are dealing with upsetting situations. So, stop listening to them!

Why?

Because our private ‘thoughts and concerns’ are often like ‘Statler and Waldorf’, the two old men from The Muppet Show, who sit in the balcony seats and make sarcastic comments about everything that goes on in the show. Our personal thoughts and concerns have one main agenda – to keep us in our comfort zone. They don’t want you to stick your neck out too far, take risks or express yourself too passionately. So, when they give you consoling and supportive advice, and you listen and buy it – don’t be mistaken – you pay a hefty price tag of disempowering yourself.

So, what could you do instead?

Find someone who knows you, believes in you, is committed to you, and someone who can see straight – ask them for advice and coaching, and then listen to everything they say – do what they tell you to do, no matter what your personal noise says about it. Yes, you may have to “fake it ’til you make it” at first, but if you stay the course and stay out of your head for long enough, you will start seeing clearly again, and you will start feeling back in the saddle.

So, if you resonate with all this, here are a few other practical tips for staying out of your head:

1. Communicate –When you communicate in an open, honest, courageous and authentic way you can transform your reality, establish deep love and connection, heal ailments and achieve extraordinary accomplishments. Communicating is the opposite, perhaps even contradiction of being in your head. In fact, when you find yourself stuck, communicate how you feel with someone you trust and you will see how quickly you will feel better and return to yourself. Even though most of us know all this – we often tend to avoid communicating in the most critical moments when it is most important and needed to communicate.
2. Journal – Journaling has almost the same impact to communicating. Just instead of speaking to someone else you are emptying all your thoughts onto paper without censorship. I got exposed to journaling more than 20 years ago through Julia Cameron’s book “The Artist’s Way” (http://juliacameronlive.com/) I still practice journaling from time to time, especially when I am at a crossroads, need to make an important decision, want to plan the next chapter of my professional or personal life or want to stay centered and clear headed in challenging times. I strongly recommend this practice as a powerful way to stay out of your head and in the real game.
3. Take action – Small actions. One step at a time. Every day say what you will do the next day and do it. You can even write it down or have a partner to hold you to account. At the end of each day acknowledge what you did and what you missed and commit again to the next day of a few clear actions. If you do this you will see that your promises become larger and more meaningful and your achievement rate is higher too.
4. Be around positive and empowering people – Stay around positive and empowering people who always believe in you, give you energy, relate to you as great and never allow you to buy into your internal disempowering thoughts and concerns.

Is your team ‘energized and inspired’ or ‘cynical and resigned’?

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Some time ago, in a meeting I was facilitating, people were going around introducing themselves. One of the long-time veterans of that organization stood up and introduced himself in the following way: “My name is Bill. I don’t remember how long I’ve been here, but I have 54 months to go!”

You would think that Bill represents a rare minority of cynical people. However, my experience says otherwise. Unfortunately, I find cynical and resigned people at all levels of all organizations.

When I ask senior executives, “How is your leadership team doing?” I often get a stock answer of, “My leaders are excited and in great shape.” However, when I attend their meetings, I often find them to be uninspired and uninspiring. The bar for what passes as ‘inspired and energized‘ in corporations today seems to be low, very low.

Oddly enough, a lot of executives and leaders still don’t seem to view the creation of inspiration as a critical aspect of their roles. Some think it’s nice to have, but many still think it’s not up to them to provide. A few even view inspiration as irrelevant altogether. These executives often believe that what truly motivates people is pay, objectives, compensation and bonuses. I call these the myths of motivation.

Don’t misunderstand me. I am not disparaging pay, compensation or bonuses. They are indeed an important part of any motivational strategy. However, I have seen situations where people could double and triple their bonus if they collaborated and worked together, but they still stayed siloed and didn’t work together. On the other hand, I have seen situations where people had no financial incentive to collaborate, but they still did the right and best thing for their company by collaborating with genuine commitment and passion.

My point is that being energized and inspired is something that first comes from within, not from external circumstances. Yes, external circumstances can help, but ultimately they are not the main determiners of how people feel and act. When people feel included, valued, cared for and that they can make a difference, they can’t help themselves but get energized and inspired. And, because any organization is always a reflection of its leaders, inspiration and energy have to start and come from the top.

So, how can today’s overwhelmed and overworked leaders energize their staff on a day-by-day basis and make sure people are not cynical? Here are a few simple tips to start you off:

  1. Show up and listen. I have often heard the complaint in organizations that leaders and managers simply don’t listen. If you want to energize your people spend some dedicated time each day, week or month walking the floors, showing concern, interacting with team members, asking people how they are doing and what you could do for them. And, then follow up with whatever comes out of those interactions and conversations.
  2. Follow up and follow through. So much of the cynicism that people have, especially in organizations, comes from a lack of follow up and follow through. Teams make decisions and then there is no follow-up or follow-through. Leaders and managers promise things and then they leave things vague, they don’t do what they said and they don’t acknowledge or change their promises. When it comes to acknowledging what was promised, following through and doing what you said there is no difference between big strategic promises and small tactical ones. If you don’t follow up and follow through even in the small things, people will become skeptical and cynical around you.
  3. Praise, recognize and thank people. I have written so much about this. It doesn’t cost a penny to say “Thank you!” and it goes a long, long way to engage and motivate people. However, another big complaint in organizations is a lack of recognition. Well if you want to energize your people and avoid cynicism, go out of your way – every day – to praise, recognize and thank them. In fact, always recognize people in public and criticize them in private. This way they’ll feel respected and trusted.
  4. Encourage, promote and reward high ownership and accountability. People who are up to something from time-to-time make mistakes. The only way to avoid that is to play so small that your mistakes are irrelevant. When employees play big the impact of their mistakes tend to be big too. However, responsible people go out of their way to learn from their mistakes and correct them. By showing them that you respect ownership and accountability they’ll play even harder, bigger and with more commitment.
  5. Encourage new ideas. There is always more than one way to get anything done. In addition, different people have different ways ideas and styles about how to effectively make things happen. As long as the objectives and key ethical values are clear and adhered to, it’s actually healthy to allow employees some room to innovate. And, it goes a long way to strengthen ownership and defeat cynicism.

 

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Stop Prioritizing!

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Crazy advice, right? Perhaps not.

“Get your priorities straight” would seem to be the obvious solution to dealing with the overwhelm, stress and burden of too many commitments, too little time and scarce resources. But there is a hidden pitfall to this thinking, which perpetuates the frustration, fatigue and endless lists of incomplete items that occupy our days (and increasingly, our nights and weekends).

“Setting priorities” typically involves writing down everything we are supposed to do, want to do, said we would do and have to do. We then typically take that list and through some form of screening criteria, rank each in order of importance, avoidance of pain for neglect, sense of opportunity or obligation.

In doing so we relieve ourselves of a significant amount of stress simply by getting things out of our head and onto paper or electronic list. However, just getting this far requires a level of diligence and rigor, which is beyond what most people have.

We then act upon each the items on the list in order of importance starting with the “A” priorities then, as time and capacity allow, getting to those ranked “B” and “C”. We check off what we have done, and add new items as they arise.

Beware of mischief

However, a more fundamental problem comes into play once these lists are made.

First, our “To Do” list is, at its core, a set of commitments that most often involves others from our professional or personal network – peers, subordinates, bosses, vendors, customers and/or family members – who have their own lists and don’t necessarily care how busy or important we are.

In addition, rightly or wrongly, when we miss a commitment to any member of our network people often interpret it as a lack of caring or commitment. When we prioritize and start working on our “A” priorities, leaving the “B” and “C” items for later – or never – we are implicitly saying that the individuals associated with the B and C tasks are less important or not important at all. Sometimes that may be the truth and sometimes it may not be. However, in many cases, it could be the feelings that others in our network have in these situations.

Consider that every time we don’t do what we set out to do or what others from our network expected from us and then we justify it with: “Well, I haven’t gotten to it yet – I had other priorities”, “I had a hectic day and couldn’t get to it. Hopefully tomorrow”, or “Sorry, but something more important came up”, we now have a de-motivated, less engaged partner in our midst, and this could well affect our ability to deliver on future commitments to which they are connected. And that is something we should be concerned about.

A new way to look

Please consider the following

First, that it is highly unlikely that any one of us will keep 100% of our commitments 100% of the time, or certainly within the timeframe originally stated. In fact, it might not be unreasonable to say that while keeping all our commitments all the time is honorable and desirable, if someone manages to do that consistently, he or she are probably playing it safe and not stretching themselves very much.

Second, that making commitments is more about creating mutual satisfaction regarding specific commitments, opportunities, issues or concerns, therefore, how we manage our commitments is more influential on the ultimate level of satisfaction than a simple binary accounting of whether or not we delivered what we said.

For example, you could be in a situation where you have delivered on a commitment, but you still don’t feel satisfied or confident because you feel you are carrying the burden of the project alone and you don’t have a strong enough partnership with others who are critical for continuous success. On the other hand, you could be in a situation where you haven’t delivered on a commitment, but you feel genuine satisfaction and confidence because you have strong partners who are co-owning the game with you, and together you’ll continue to do better in the future. I am sure you have experienced both sides.

How you manage your commitments has everything to do with your own peace of mind, sense of fulfillment, and the level of engagement of those around you.

As an example: a recent Harvard survey indicated much higher levels of patient satisfaction among patients who felt their doctors cared about their well-being, independent of whether or not the advice they were given actually cured their illness.

Start promising and stop prioritizing.

If you embrace the notion that we are continuously engaged in a dynamic process of managing commitments, “promising” becomes a much more powerful tool than “prioritizing.” Why?

  • People have a different relationship to promising than they do to prioritizing. As my friend’s 8-year old son said to his dad: “Daddy, if I make you a promise, I’m going to keep it.” Of course, there are no guarantees. But we’ve already recognized that prioritizing has a built-in “something more important came up” excuse that can be invoked should we fall short.
  • When people promise to do something it creates a much stronger level of ownership and accountability on their side. I don’t know about you, but if I am going into battle with someone, I want them fully committed, not merely “doing their best…”. You are only going to get that level of commitment from someone if they promise to do something.
  • As mentioned, there are times that we will keep our promises and times that we won’t. That’s a fact. By making explicit promises to each other we are carving out a clear path for fulfillment. By doing so we are reducing the chances for surprises, excuses, and drama, especially when challenges arise, and we are increasing our mutual confidence and satisfaction.
  • While the dialogue around priorities is often a one-way street – I decide what my priorities are and I am the one to tell you that “I just couldn’t get to it today” the dialogue of promises by design is a two-way street. The minute I ask you to promise and you do so we are now tied at the hip. The promise is no longer just your commitment – it becomes our The success of this project is now our success. The dialogue of promising evokes a much deeper and more powerful dynamic of open, honest, courageous and effective communication, and trust. It also generates a stronger sense of owning each other’s success. A joint approach is more satisfying and fulfilling than going it alone.

To summarize – when people have a more earnest relationship with their promises it causes two things.

First, they are much less casual about saying “I promise” than the myriad of ways people add a priority to an already overflowing list. “I’ll do my best”, “Let me see what I can do”, “I’ll get to it as soon as I can”, “I’ll try”, “Leave it with me”, and many other half-hearted statements that fill the conference rooms and corridors of corporations. This makes sense – given the impossibility of fulfilling every commitment, people are hesitant to be unequivocal about whether or not their backsides are really on the line. However, this behavior just perpetuates the problem.

Secondly, when people make a promise to do something, and at some point prior to the time it is due they realize their promise is in jeopardy of not being fulfilled, they are far more likely to reach out to the receiver of that promise and attempt to negotiate – in advance – a mutually agreeable solution. While this may appear to be no different than the “it was a lower priority” justification, the experience to the receiver is more empowering, and together people can figure out alternative ways to fulfill the same commitment with new or different promises.

Obviously, if you don’t do what you promise repeatedly your credibility and the sense of partnership could erode or evaporate. However, the “lower priority” case simply assigns the cause elsewhere, leaving the receiver feeling devalued and the promisor off the hook for the eroded level of partnership and engagement their behavior produced.

The real point of prioritizing is not to be off-the-hook for the commitments we make, but rather to be more effective at making and keeping commitments that ultimately lead to mutually satisfying interactions and accomplishments. This being the case, making and managing promises thoughtfully and rigorously rather than hiding arm’s length behind not-up-to-me excuses of “priorities changed” puts us in the driver’s seat, and makes others feel like partners with whom we are committed to long-term, mutually beneficial relationships.

 

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Complete 2016 in a meaningful way

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As we enter the holiday season and end of 2016 it seems appropriate and timely to write something about “completing the year.”

Completing a phase, period, initiative or task effectively is just as powerful and rewarding as starting or executing these effectively. However, it seems as if most people tend to focus more on the starting and executing part. We underestimate the power and value of completing things effectively, not merely finishing or ending them.

The dictionary defines finishing as ‘bringing a task or activity to an end.’ It defines Completing as ‘making something whole or perfect’.

We don’t have to do anything for something to end. It is the nature of the world. Things begin, go through their cycle and end. A year, a project or a lifetime, it’s all the same. But, in order to complete things – or more accurately to feel complete with activities or situations – we need to apply a deliberate and mindful focus and awareness.

How do you complete things?

If you review the year’s events without the distinction completion in mind, you are likely to focus on the cold facts of what actually happened. You will ask yourself things like: “What did I do?”, “What didn’t I do?”, and “What results did I achieve?”. While you may find intellectual satisfaction in taking stock of this year’s events in the most factual, objective and accurate way, this information won’t empower or uplift your spirit and soul.

In contrast, if you look at 2016 through the lens of completion you will be compelled to push your thinking and reflection beyond the cold facts of what happened to a deeper level. You will be compelled to own ‘what happened’ and ‘what didn’t happen’ in a more meaningful way.

You will ask yourself questions such as “What did I accomplish?”, “What did I learn?”, “Where and how did I grow?” and “How am I better, stronger and more prepared for the future?”. This type of taking stock will make you feel more satisfied and complete.

In fact, the idea of success and failure is an interpretation, not a fact. You can feel victorious and successful even when you haven’t met your goals. And, you can feel defeated and a failure when you did meet your goals. The feeling of success or failure is determined by the completion conversation.

Completing the past will enable you to put things in a better perspective. It will help you put the past behind you, and this will leave you feeling freer, stronger and more empowered and excited to focus on the future with a clean slate.

However, if you leave things incomplete, past incompletions could haunt you and cloud your thoughts, plans, and aspirations for the future. Furthermore, you could become more hesitant because of past failures and/or blindly confident because of past successes. In both cases, you would be reacting to your past and that won’t be effective or satisfying.

The good news is that you can bring a completion view to your past at any moment, no matter how good or bad things were. You just need to take stock, draw empowering conclusions from past events and then declare the past complete. It requires taking a stand, and it takes courage. But, you can do it!

How to complete 2016 in a meaningful way:

So – as we are ending 2016, reflect on your year. First, make the list of the facts – what happened, what you did and didn’t do. It’s useful to start there. But don’t end there.

Ask yourself:

  1. What did I accomplish?
  2. What did I learn?
  3. Where and how did I grow and improve in the areas I care about?
  4. How did I forward my bigger personal and professional vision and purpose?
  5. What am I most grateful for?
  6. Who do I want to recognize and thank? (Make sure you tell them.)

Once you declare 2016 complete, you will feel a sense of satisfaction, peace, and fulfillment. In that space, you can powerfully start creating next year to be your best year ever.

Wishing you and your family a Happy Holiday Season and Happy New Year!

The key steps for transforming your organization

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At any given time I am typically involved in several transformational initiatives around the world. Some are local in nature, and others are global. Some are very complex and others more straightforward.

The goals and context of each transformational initiative can also be different:

  • Some are going through major organizational restructuring and they want their people to accept and own these changes quickly.
  • Some want to grow their market share from #5 to #4, or even to #1.
  • Others feel their cultural values, spirit and pride have deteriorated and they want to ignite and energize their workforce again.

The dictionary defines transformation as:  A thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance.

All successful transformational initiatives take the organization or team from one state to another.

For example:

From a culture of cynicism, resignation and discouragement – to a culture of enthusiasm, passion, high energy, and pride.

From teams working in siloes, hiding and looking out for themselves – to a dynamic of genuine cross-function alignment, collaboration, trust and sense of “we are in this together”.

From people blaming others when there are issues and behaving like victims who can’t make a difference – to a state in which everyone feels empowered to think and behave as courageous owners who take risks and do the right thing.

So, what are the key principles and steps that must be in place for any transformation to succeed?

Step one – Own the need for change.

Every change has to start at the top!

So, if you want to succeed make sure that your leaders own the need for change. This includes the leaders acknowledging what has worked and what hasn’t worked about the organization – and also what has worked and what hasn’t worked about the leaders themselves.

Step two – Build your leadership team as a high performance team that can lead a bold transformation.

Leading a transformation effort is not an easy mission.  In fact, things often get worse before they get better.  So, the top team has to be ready to climb this mountain. The senior leaders have to be prepared to stay the course.

Step three – Create a bold strategy that is BOTH truly transformational, AND that every leadership team member owns with 100% commitment and accountability.

You need a bold strategy for the transformation effort in order to be clear on where you are going and what success looks like. If you articulate a clear vision and strategy you will be able to engage others in your bold journey. However, if your leaders don’t fully own the strategy, they can’t expect others to do the same.

Step four – Get the middle managers to co-own and co-lead the transformation.

The middle managers are a critical link in the transformation chain – because they sit between the strategy and its execution.

If the managers are on-board they will go out of their way to break down silos and drive a new level of cross-functional collaboration. But, if they are not… they’ll play along and say all the right things. But they’ll find subtle ways to undermine the effort…AND…they’ll be the first to blame others and say, “we told you so…”

Step five – Get the employees on-board.

When you have the leadership team and managers genuinely on-board you will start seeing a tipping point.

Getting the employees on-board is much easier, because all the employees want is to do a great job and be part of something great. They don’t want to be stuck in silos or be pawns in political games that are often imposed by their managers and leaders.

Step six – Align your key stakeholders and customers with your transformation.

When the entire team is on the same page, you will want to start aligning your interactions, partnerships, collaborations and expectations with your stakeholders and customers.

Step seven – Execute and stay the course.

Now that you have all the pieces in place it is all about execution, staying the course, addressing obstacles and pursuing opportunities – with discipline – consistent with your new future.

If you execute step seven well and stay the course, you will create a new state. As the dictionary defined it: A thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance.

And, this new state will begin to have a life of its own, or what I call: Irreversible Momentum.

Buckle up!

Are you dreaming big enough?

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Most teams approach strategy development by looking in their rear-view mirror.

Starting from their present reality, they review their past successes and shortfalls. They analyze their capabilities and means. And, based on that analysis they project their expectations into the future – typically coming up with ‘best case’, ‘worst case’, and ‘most likely case’ scenarios.

Sometimes teams benchmark other companies in order to understand industry standards so that they know how high to aim. Benchmarking is often a limiting exercise, as it is merely another way to shape your aspirations based on the past – this time another company’s past.

There is nothing wrong with this approach if your business is mature, predictable or you are operating in a status quo pace. However, if you want to take your business to a new level and achieve much bolder results – this approach will not suffice.

When Kennedy declared in May 1961 that the USA would put a man on the moon and bring him back safely by the end of the decade, many people around him were very skeptical because most of the crucial technologies and organizational structures necessary to achieve his bold vision and strategy did not exist.

However, Kennedy’s future-based vision and strategy brought about a new stream of events and priorities, that ultimately enabled the USA to fulfill his bold vision and strategy.

The way Kennedy approached strategy is much more powerful and compelling than the way most companies and teams approach strategy. He went straight to describing the future state he was committing to in a very simple, clear and powerful way: ‘Man on the moon and back safely by the end of the decade’.

He did not look to the past to determine if his vision was feasible. In fact, after consulting with Vice President Johnson, NASA Administrator James Webb, and other officials, he concluded that landing an American on the Moon would be a very challenging technological feat.

But Kennedy didn’t approach his declaration casually. He didn’t put it out there and then stand aside to see if it would work. Instead, he marshaled his resources to pursue his dream, fulfill it and prove his vision right!

And as we all know, the Man on the Moon story had a happy ending, as Kennedy’s goal was achieved on July 20, 1969 when Apollo 11 commander Neil Armstrong stepped off the Luna Module’s ladder and onto the Moon’s surface.

Create your vision

You can use the same approach as Kennedy used to create your own team or personal vision.

Start the vision development by placing yourself in a future time. Then, from that place, articulate the outcomes and future state that you are committed to. Then think your way back from that future state to the present, in order to create your milestones and execution plan.

So often teams try to derive realistic objectives by running numbers and trying to foresee all the circumstances that could affect their outcome. I strongly advise against that!

Make sure your strategy development exercise is not merely an accounting exercise, informed by a bit of leadership. In fact, do it the opposite way. Make sure your exercise is a leadership exercise, informed by a bit of accounting.

The accounting part helps you bring some realism, feasibility, confidence and believability to your bold future vision. When Kennedy promised the Moon, even though the key technologies did not exist, he was encouraged by the fact that the USA was leading the global space exploration race.

However, if your goal is predicated too much on accounting assumptions, this will diminish your ambition to the mere predicable. And, if your goal becomes too realistic and doable, it will lose the exciting thrill and adventurous feeling associated with taking on something that has never been done before.

In addition, if your vision is conditional upon certain predictions and assumptions, the minute these circumstances evolve and these assumptions change the entire vision could become invalid.

I have had the chance to help teams and individuals generate bold strategies for many years. I have seen a great number of them achieve extraordinary results beyond their expectations this way.

People always emerged from this exercise extremely energized, with high levels of ownership and commitment every time.

You should try it within your own team and in your own life!

Are you a narcissistic leader?

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I was speaking to a senior executive of a global technology company about leadership. During our conversation, he made an intriguing declaration: “I’d rather be a dwarf that manages giants, than a giant that manages dwarfs”.

It was obvious to me that he was referring to the difference between narcissistic leaders who always take the credit, seek the limelight and who remain the stars of the show under all circumstances, versus leaders who view their role as an opportunity to empower, promote, recognize and elevate the people around them.

I liked the senior executive’s proclamation because it was powerful, simple, catchy and relevant to many leaders and executives. I have come across and worked with many narcissistic leaders. While every leader is different, there are similarities among them.

Here are a few examples:

  1. They always have to be “the star”.
    They don’t like to share the limelight, elevate others and overall enable others around them to become too powerful, influential or great. In fact, they seem to be threatened by others shining and they get quite upset when others play too much of a dominant role.
  2. They don’t trust and empower others very naturally or effectively.
    When there are challenges, their first reaction is often to step in and take control, rather than trust and delegate. They tend to divide and conquer, rather than build a cohesive team to rely on.
  3. They don’t communicate very clearly and directly, especially around uncomfortable topics.
    They shy away from conflict or having straight conversations. They don’t bring clarity and closure to issues. When they are frustrated with someone they tend to engage in back channel talk, rather than face the issues head-on. And, often, when they believe that they have communicated clearly and directly regarding an uncomfortable topic, those with whom they have communicated were left confused, uncertain and with a different message.
  4. They are erratic, inconsistent and unreliable in their reactions and behaviors.
    They are often late to meetings; everyone else arrives on time and have to wait, sometimes for hours. They constantly make last-minute unannounced changes to schedule and meetings with no apparent regard for the impact on others. And, they often make decisions that have a significant impact on others out of impulse and emotion, which they later regret and reverse.
  5. They don’t really create a genuine and effective environment of accountability.
    They preach accountability, say all the right slogans but they don’t establish clear and specific objectives and expectations with their people. They also don’t manage and hold people to account for their commitments and deliverables.
  6. They know best and are not very open to feedback, criticism, and coaching.
    They avoid conversation in which criticism could be forthcoming and they are defensive when criticism is given.
  7. They blame others and circumstances for failures, and take the credit for all successes.
    In fact, they love to talk about their own successes, but they avoid talking about failures and they definitely don’t like to take responsibility for the negative impact of their behaviors on others.

If you are not sure if you are a narcissistic leader, assess yourself against these seven characteristics. Or even better, ask yourself:

“How do people around me see and experience me?”

Other people may view you differently than you view yourself. Try to understand their experience – you may find it eye-opening and enlightening.

If you want to improve in this area and become a more empowering leader here are a few practical principles and tips that may be of help:

  1. Be a big person – Give the credit to others when there are successes.
  2. Be responsible – Take the responsibility on yourself when there are failures.
  3. Be generous – Recognize, acknowledge and praise people around you every day.
  4. Be respectful – Recognize people in public and criticize them in private.
  5. Be empowering– Make sure every conversation and interaction you have with others, no matter what the topic, leaves them more energized, focused and empowered.
  6. Be trusting – Make sure your people have clear objectives and expectations that they own and then let them implement their objectives in their own way.
  7. Be reliable – Keep your promises, commitments and timelines, no matter how small or big, with no excuses, just like you expect others to do.
  8. Be a role model – Model everything you want others to do, and treat others exactly the way you want them to treat you.

Do Senior Leaders have the courage to confront and own their shortfalls?

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If you want to elevate your team to a new level of ownership, accountability and performance you have to start by taking stock of, and owning your current reality and past.

You have to confront what worked, what didn’t work and what still isn’t working. Sometimes, you even have to take responsibility for things that happened before you arrived.

Why is this important?

Because when you are honest and own your past it is easier to put it behind you. You can then create the space for a powerful new chapter, unlimited by past constraints.

If you focus too much on the things that worked, you can easily get comfortable, complacent and/or arrogant, and that could limit your ability to do new things and improve on what is working.

If you avoid looking at your past, you won’t learn the lessons that it has to offer and you can easily repeat the same mistakes in the future.

Obviously, it’s easier for leaders to take responsibility for the good things. In fact, many leaders don’t like to review the things that haven’t worked, especially if they feel issues and shortfalls are associated with them in some way.

In fact, many leaders don’t like to review the things that haven’t worked, especially if they feel issues and shortfalls are associated with them in some way.

Take, for example, one leader who was promoted to the highest position in their global function after being the number two for many years. Being a global support function inside a sales organization, this function struggled for many years with its credibility and reputation. Its customers didn’t feel the function was providing the value and impact they wanted. As a result team members felt criticized, under-valued and demotivated. In fact, many managers and employees in the function also felt that their senior management was too caught up in silo and political games, instead of providing the team with a powerful direction, priorities, support and air coverage to do a good job.

When the new leader took the job, everyone was hoping for change. But, first people wanted an opportunity to express their frustrations about the past, including feedback about the new leader. They wanted to be heard. They wanted the new leader to listen and acknowledge what hadn’t worked.

Unfortunately, that didn’t happen because the leader was unwilling to hear criticism about himself or past performance or the dynamic of the function, which he felt was being associated with him.

Another very senior executive in a different global company, also head of a global function, avoided and prohibited any discussion about past failures with her team. Team members wanted desperately to bring up, acknowledge and address the political issues that had held this function back from being world class for so long. However, their boss wouldn’t hear of it. When team members attempted to bring up past issues or criticism, in meetings, in order to move beyond them, she would shut down the conversation.

When I asked her why she was doing that she said: “Discussing our past ailments and failures only brings our past back and this prevents us from moving forward.”

I see the same types of mindset and dynamics in so many teams. In fact, I have seen several cases leaders avoided entering a much-needed change initiative just because of their fear of confronting their shortfalls.

So, why is it so hard for leaders to deal with the past?

Most leaders either don’t know how to confront past issues in a productive way. Like our first example, many leaders simply take the bad stuff too personally.

And, like our second leader, many leaders feel that if they don’t bring bad issues up it makes them go away. This is not true! In fact, when you are honest and own your past, it’s easier to put it behind you. Then you can create a space for a powerful new chapter, unlimited by past constraints.

If you are defensive about the past or avoid it or try to build a new future on top of it, the undercurrent will keep dragging you down. And, even if you are able to produce great results, it will usually come with people collateral damage.

Of course, I also have examples of senior leaders who are genuinely open and interested in confronting and taking ownership of past issues and shortfalls, including their own. In my experience, these leaders have generated much greater results with much higher motivation and sense of fulfillment in their teams.

You would think that the most senior leaders would be the most mature and self-confident, therefore they would be less threatened by criticism and more open and prepared to hear it. But, unfortunately experience has shown me that it’s often not the case. Senior leaders are often less open to embrace and admit mistakes, or take responsibility for things that they did or didn’t do that caused others to suffer.

Do you have the courage to confront and own past shortfalls?

 

 

 

Who are you inspired by?

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I was debriefing a session with the CEO of a European division of a global technology company. Just before we parted ways, the CEO, who through our work together had also become a friend, turned to me and asked me a seemingly simple question:

“Who are you inspired by?”

Knowing that we were going to meet again the following day he added, “Don’t answer now. Sleep on it and let’s talk about it tomorrow.”

My first inclination was to quickly rattle off a list of people and be done with it. However, being the perfectionist that I am, I couldn’t leave it at that. In addition, I liked that the CEO’s question made me dig deeper, so I thought it would be a relevant blog topic.

Over the course of our lives, we are touched and inspired by many people, in many ways and at many levels. People come into our life, sometimes they stay with us for a long time; however, sometimes we are inspired and touched by people with whom we have short encounters.

There are people that we enjoy spending time with, people who make us happy, people who help us when we are in need, and people who teach us useful professional and personal lessons. And while we are grateful for these relationships, encounters, and lessons, not all the people who contribute to us along the way also inspire and touch us profoundly.

The people who truly inspire us leave a monumental mark on our character, energy, outlook and behavior. They stimulate us to break barriers and do things we have wanted to do but have never dared to do before. And, they make us more enthusiastic, courageous and optimistic. In fact, I believe we can often associate specific qualities, values and achievements in our life with the people who inspired us to take these on.

In the book The Celestine Prophecy, there is a passage that reads: Whenever people cross our paths, there is always a message for us. Chance encounters do not exist. But how we respond to these encounters determines whether we’re able to receive the message. If we have a conversation with someone who crosses our path and we do not see a message pertaining to our current questions, it does not mean there was no message. It means we missed it for some reason…”

We all have abundant opportunities in every phase of our life to be inspired by others around us. We just have to open our hearts to living an inspired life.

Here are a few examples of whom I have been inspired by:

At the top of my list are my parents– both extremely sharp, charismatic, disciplined and intellectual artists whose unique qualities made a profound difference in who I am today.

My father, who I am blessed to still have in my life, taught me at a very early age that, “the early bird catches the worm…” That lesson shaped my personal and professional work ethic and discipline from thereon.

My mom, who passed away a few years ago, trained me to have a keen eye for quality, design, and esthetic. She made me an artist at heart. My obsession with being excellent is from her.

My wife, Na’ama, who I have had the fortune to share my life with for the last 36 years, has inspired me and made me a better person, over and over again, in more ways than I could describe. She has inspired me to be more generous, open-minded, authentic, optimistic, courageous, and confident.

Lastly, my clients inspire me all the time. Their courage to stand for their vision, fully express themselves, take risks, lead and inspire others around them, and allow others, (including yours truly), to contribute and inspire them, inspires me every day. My clients’ confidence and trust in me, as well as the genuine partnership and friendship they have allowed me to build with them, has touched me deeply, inspired me, and made me feel very blessed.

Many people have inspired me over my life and continue to inspire me all the time. I can’t possibly recognize all or most of them here.

Now it’s your turn. Ask yourself, “Who am I inspired by?”

Are you a Leader or a Manager?

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Are you a boss or manager?

A close friend sent me this chart:

I see this chart as outlining some of the differences between leaders and managers. There is such a significant difference between the two. Here are some of my thoughts:

Managers manage and focus on the existing reality. Leaders always look forward and think about how to create new realities.

I often hear managers brag about how their team’s performance is the best in the region or group. Leaders, on the other hand, seem to care less about how to reach the top of the current scale. They seem to be more interested in how to put their teams at the bottom of the next-level scale.

Managers ask for permission, while leaders ask for forgiveness. Managers tend to be more hesitant about taking initiative and doing things that haven’t been done before. Leaders tend to be more comfortable making bolder decisions and overall their tolerance for taking risk is higher.

Leaders seem to always stand in the bigger picture and destination. They are concerned with the question “Where do we need to get to?” while managers are constantly looking for “What do we need to do?”

  • Managers strive to drive discipline, consistency, and order. They are often afraid to shake things. However, leaders promote and expect disruptive thinking and productive chaos that shakes things.
  • Compliance is very important to managers because they see it as the route to efficiency. For leaders, compliance is the enemy. The most powerful leaders I know constantly look for how to inspire ownership and commitment in their people.
  • Compliance always promotes an environment of fear. Ownership and commitment inspire courage and innovation.
  • Managers drive things through their authority. Leaders drive things through their personality and charisma. Even when they have the authority to mandate things, leaders choose the path of inspiring and enlisting their people in their vision.

While there is a significant difference between the orientation, demeanor, energy, qualities, and skills of leaders and managers, both are required to make things work. Both have a key role in achieving the best outcomes. And both need to work very closely to complement each other.

In the most powerful teams that I have seen, the leaders facilitated the creation of a bold vision and they inspired everyone to get on board and own them. Managers helped them to turn their bold visions into realities and results.

Unfortunately, too often I see managers playing the roles of leaders. They stifle their team’s energy, innovation, and success.

I also see leaders who don’t empower and use their managers wisely and effectively. Things don’t get done, people don’t see progress, and over time, they get frustrated and discouraged.

When you have clarity and harmony between the two, you can form the best teams who can drive the greatest change, progress, and accomplishments.

So, are you a leader or manager?

The Five Myths of Strategic Planning: Part Two

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Henry Mintzberg, in his seminal 1993 book The Rise and Fall of Strategic Planning, refers to strategic planning as an “oxymoron,” claiming “the process can straitjacket an organization by stifling innovation and commitment.”

In my last blog, I shared the first three of five myths that undermine most leaders’ effectiveness at generating powerful strategies and creating the ownership and accountability of their teams toward their execution. Here are the remaining two:

Myth #4: Size Matters

The typical strategic planning process is an exclusive affair. Executives often believe that the fewer people who are involved in the process, the easier it will be. As such, they often limit participation to a small group of business unit heads and/or the strategy development group.

But putting together the strategic planning team is not a matter of finding the perfect group size — it’s about gathering together the right people.

In order to create the most powerful strategy with the strongest sense of ownership and accountability for execution, you must include both those individuals who have the best expertise about where the organization needs to go and the people who are going to support and implement the agreed upon direction and objectives.

While some impatient executives might see this broader inclusion, for example of support functions, as slowing things down, slower in this case is faster – since doing things right from the start saves time, money, and prevents having to do it all, all over again when people are paying lip-service to the execution down the road.

Myth #5: Communication Creates Commitment

Town halls, road shows, all-hands meetings, and webinars are all popular vehicles for spreading the word and gaining buy-in once the strategic plan has been crafted. Most senior executives will tout these communication efforts as a critical step in helping the organization understand what the strategy means, and what role each person plays in bringing it to fruition.

But while these types of events can generate a significant amount of energy and excitement, they also contain serious pitfalls that can lead to cynicism rather than commitment.

One of these pitfalls is the mistaken belief that staff are empty vessels, just waiting for the word from above about where the company is headed and what they should be doing to help it get there.

Far from being empty, people are already full. Full with frustrations and disappointments about what executives have said they were going to do in the past and what they actually did. Full from promises made and not kept, and full from accepting requests to get involved in a company strategy and then being ignored when times got tough.

Employees who have been around have little time— or tolerance — for fanfare and hype. What employees want to know is that their bosses understand, and are committed to addressing, the challenges they face in putting a strategy in place.

For example: If staff communicate that a certain supervisor is a tyrant, will management listen and hold that person accountable for demonstrating the values they are promoting? If systems are broken or inadequate, will management hear the impact that this has on staff and make the proper investment to set things right? If staff are caught in the crossfire of feuding bosses, will the leaders of the company leave them to their warring factions or let them know political gamesmanship won’t be tolerated?

Only by listening to what the staff are saying, with both their words and behaviors, will leaders become aware of and able to address the issues that are preventing them from embracing the strategic objectives management is asking them to pursue. When this type of listening happens, and action is taken, commitment to the strategic plan follows suit.

Strategic planning is not an accounting and forecasting exercise; it’s not an offsite spent in a room hashing out who’s willing to go along with what, and it’s not a well-written bunch of words put to paper and placed in a binder. It is a living, breathing, organic leadership action. It requires not a calculator, but the courage and conviction to inspire everyone to be their best and get on the same page.

As Academy Award-winning director Francis Ford Coppola famously said:

“The first step in making a good movie is getting everyone involved to be making the same movie.”

Photo by: Michael Cardus