When others that you care about behave in a selfish, inconsiderate, thoughtless or other unkind ways that upset you, don’t react harshly, don’t retaliate and don’t act with vengeance.
Instead, stop… breath… think… If you have to, bite your tongue, count to three before you say or do anything. Then look deeper into what caused them to behave in a bad way.
As hard as it may be to see this in the heat of the moment, very often, those who behave badly are in pain themselves; they are suffering, they are upset, they are calling for help, love, attention and/or support.
If you can detect these dynamics it will give you a new course of action. Instead of reacting to the delinquent symptoms you will be able to make a difference and touch the human source.
Instead of expressing anger relay openness and understanding.
Instead of screaming and shouting, speak softly and gently.
Instead of blaming and accusing, seek to understand their burden so that you can support them.
If you want to be powerful respond to bad behavior with kindness, or as someone recently put it: “When they go low, you go high!”